Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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