i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
