Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
In America we eat man semen.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
