My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
