Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
