I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God I need to hump something, right now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
