No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
