big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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