I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
