38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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