AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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