After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
