Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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