yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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