i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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