woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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