Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
