I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
