You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize