Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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