And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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