i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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