god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
