i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize