Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
