Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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