Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize