I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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