i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
