Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
