Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize