Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
