That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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