You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I will pee on everything he values.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
