You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
