Christians are straight up FREAKS
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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