everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
