Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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