i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How's work?
Spinning.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
