Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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