Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
