can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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