Umm I'm too high to move.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
