then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
