WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
