In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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