The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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