It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
