I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hippo gnu deer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
