i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
