Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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