Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize