is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
