she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
