We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
