i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
