Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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