I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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