Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
