She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
