My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
