so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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