Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
