tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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