I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize