Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
