And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thus making me awesome and them whores
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
