i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
