trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
