I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
