I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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