JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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