Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
